And then I talk to Melissa Smith, and everything is wonderful again. She didn't even do anything, but she listened. It's so great to have someone who will listen sometimes.
By the way, I have aquired an artist's rendition of what it would look like if Missy's head were to explode. (The artist was none other than Missy herself).
Click here for the picture.
So this is it. This is what you were all waiting for. This is the artist's rendering of what it would look like if Missy's head were splattered all over a piece of paper. I like the juxtoposition of the nice shading on the fist with the expanded, 70's-ish outline on the happy gentleman there. I would be happy if I had a hairdo like that, you better believe I would. That guy is a hobo, I think, and he's using his hobo stick to cook tiny baby chickens. I am confused, however, that the shadow on the fist suggests that the light source is coming from directly in front (ie, coming from us), but the fire behind the fist seems to be the only light source there. Maybe the happy gentleman is casting light. That might be what those psychodelic outlines would be representing. I feel sorry for the little unicorn. He is saying, "Aw Shucks!" Perhaps he feels that the much larger, freely advertising unicorn is stealing all of his thunder (represented, maybe, by the "zoom!" lightning). Perhaps he is worried about our little sheep friend. I would be worried about her, too. The poor sheep seems to have some idea that something is up, but she can't quite think of what exactly it is. The fire says "BFF". I can guess what that stands for, but with those 'f's, everything I come up with would just end up having the word 'fuck' in it. 'Big Fucking Fire' immediately comes to mind. One gets the impression that the 'zoom!' lightning bolt is coming from either the sheep (which might explain why someone would want to shoot it), or the large unicorn's eye. I think the large unicorn is mad at the corn, which is infested with shuriken flowers and mind-controlling snails who "Do what want!!" So the unicorn is using his laser vision to destroy the farmer's corn (much to the shock of the smaller unicorn). Currently the corn farmer is distracted by his sheep, who escaped to eat the strange grass that seems to be growing on the unicorn's face. Meanwhile, the happy glowing hobo with giant hands has a chick skewered on his hobo stick, and is really enjoying shaking what looks like hair out of the poor thing into the Big Fucking Fire.
"Cheep", says the chick. Cheep, indeed.
The artist was Melissa Smith, and she can be reached at email@example.com. I (Shauvon McGill) bear no responsibility for this spew of bizzare creativity, although I'd like to.